So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
