Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
