So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't think brook has ever known best
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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