I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
