I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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