i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
