My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
