is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
