We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
