please come you make the beer taste better
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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