i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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