he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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