wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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