is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
