I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
