Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
