I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
