I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
