Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
