They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
