Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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