I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
