he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
