he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
