how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
