There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
