You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
