Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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