At least make sure they are 18
Why
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
then he tried to convert me to islam
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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