How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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