found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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