We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
