i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
