But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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