You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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