I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize