Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
