I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
