talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
