OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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