not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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