My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
