After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
