So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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