Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It was confusing and full of hummus
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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