I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
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