i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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