he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
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