No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
