Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
