He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You are a genius and a whore.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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