You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
