Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
