so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
