So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
